Showing posts with label The Strong and The Weak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Strong and The Weak. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Never Negotiate from a Position of Weakness

I guess I really should try to do another post. There are so many thoughts that go through my mind at times and any one of them could be made into a post, yet so often, the inspirations seem to just sprout up and than pass, without any one seeming any more prominent than another.

At first, it seemed that I couldn't get any really strong handle on any single subject, so I thought I'd just introduce each thought briefly and see which ones takes off in the comment section.

Fortunately, once I got started in my writing, my thoughts did flow again and I soon discovered that what I was writing in relation to the basic theme of how I've been inspired by others could be broken down into two parts.

BB-Idaho said something to me once and I wasn't sure how he worded it. I just remember that it was in one of my earlier posts. I had to do word searches looking for it, but finally did find it in the post "Lessons for the Strong and the Weak". In about the 11th comment down, BB says "Never negotiate from a position of weakness. Always negotiate from a position of strength." This is an issue that I keep continually going back and forth on because I've never been quite sure whether people are more impressed with strength, or humble honesty. I don't know. Do people mostly like those who are strong or those who are real? I guess the context of the statement is in relation to the subject of negotiation, yet when I think of my own strengths and weaknesses, what is usually on my mind is things such as influence, impact and trying to deeply touch those I interact with. Perhaps that is another subject, other than negotiation.

Since I don't very often view myself as a strong person on a lot of levels in comparison to most of the rest of the crowd, I tend to go with the humble, honest, genuine and real approach, whether than the "strong" approach.

There are verses in the Bible that relate to this idea.

"10) Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." (James 4:10, KJV)

"10) Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10, KJV)

"5) Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth." (Matthew 5:5, KJV)

"27) But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty." (1 Corinthians 1:27, KJV)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Subtle, Less Obvious, Handicaps

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. What can I say? With Christmas and the new puppy, I've been quite distracted.

For the inspiration of this Post, I have a new comer to thank that just happened to drop by one of my earlier Posts through a Google Search. His name is Cenk and the page he visited is "Shay's Day - Inspirational Story". I guess that it's not so much what he said that inspired me, but the fact that he visited and commented on an earlier Post and thus got me thinking about that Post again. In doing so, I was reminded of something that I thought of saying relating to the subjects of Handicaps and yet never did say it until now.

The story in the linked Post is about baseball and the reaction of a couple of kids to a handicapped boy, yet sometimes on my blog, I like to compare everything to Politics and even though I never did that with this Post, now that Cenk has caused me to revisit it, I have remembered something that I always wanted to say and never did.

In the world of Politics and Capitalism, there are all sorts of Handicaps. Some are severe enough to earn a person Disability Payments. Others just cause people to not do quite as well in the job world as someone else with a higher IQ or with certain God Given skills that assure their success as long as they put out the necessary effort.

I became very keenly aware of this reality when I was in College. With my slow reading and inability to multitask, I had to study more hours than most to achieve the same results. The fact that I graduated with a degree is no less than a miracle. The average class load is 16 Units, but every single time that I tried to handle that much, I ended up dropping back down to 12 Units because that was all I could handle. Consequently, it took me 5 years to complete the goal, instead of only 4. Many students take on full time jobs while going to school. This was not even an option for me because I simply do not posses the mental capacity, nor the energy required. I was often physically sick as it was, even though my schedule contained less than many other students.

I'm not saying that success does not take human effort, cause it does, yet there are those in our society for which massive amounts of effort does not pay off the same as for someone else.

Some people would use this reality as a justification for Socialism. I don't agree that Socialism is the way to go, nor do a agree with those who make a career out of welfare, yet I am sympathetic enough to those who are weak in some ways that I do not agree with some extreme Republicans who seem to want the Government to be so small that Government Assistant Programs are almost non-existent.

I always remembered something that my father once said in relation to getting assistance, or in this case, I believe it was Educational Scholarships. He said, "If a person is poor, he will be O.K. because he will get the Scholarship. If a person is rich, he will not need the Scholarship because he can afford to pay the Tuition, but if the person is Middle Class, he is really screwed because he can neither get the Scholarship, nor Afford to Pay the Tuition."

Actually, this works the same way with Handicaps. If a person is severely Handicapped (or at least enough to be defined as Retarded/Mentally Challenged, Maimed in some way or so Emotionally Disturbed that it is Diagnosed as a Psychiatric Disease), he can get Disability. If a person is not Handicapped at all (or is actually Significantly Gifted), he will not need the Disability, but if a person is only mildly Handicapped (or not quite as Smart, Efficient or Energetic as the rest), he is screwed because he can neither get the Disability, nor Succeed in a Capitalist Society.

I believe that the above linked story about Shay is not just about how we treat those who are handicapped in some obvious way, but also about how we treat anyone who is weaker than ourselves, such as some of those who are poor. Are we willing to help them or do we just judge them automatically as lazy before we've even taken the time to hear their story?

One of my most Favorite Posts that is listed on the right is the one "Lessons for the Strong and the Weak". In this Post, the Strong are told to be Humble, Don't Judge and Give to the Poor, and the Weak are told to share whatever talents they have no matter how small, don't lose heart and don't give up.

I told you of one of my weaknesses, now I will tell you of one of my strengths. I have the ability to sing. Oddly, my brother can't even carry a tune. Not only do I sing, but harmony is second nature to me. The difference between me and my brother is not because someone taught me to sing and he was deprived of the same training. I wasn't even taught how to do harmony. I was doing that as a child and it was second nature to me.

What I found really strange later was not that I had this ability, but that other people didn't. I'm really amazed at times how common it is to walk into a room or a church where people are all singing in unison and once I add a harmony, I'm the only one doing so. How odd it is that God wouldn't pass this Gift around more than He has. This really puzzles me, yet I tell you the truth. It wasn't through effort that this ability has occurred.

Another thing that frustrates me is how rare it is to find an energetic, highly efficient person who actually realizes that they have a God given Gift.

And then there is a highly common phrase that people throw around that isn't even accurate. I'm sure that many of you have heard and possibly even said "If I can do it, anyone can." Well, what if I was to say that "If I can sing Harmony, anyone can."? This sounds like a humble statement, but really it is not because it denies that there is any God given Talent involved and assumes that the credit goes to our efforts and our efforts alone. When this really gets confusing is when Talent and Effort is combined, yet even if the Effort is significant, this still does not negate the reality of the Gift.

I guess the one verse from the Post, "Lessons for the Strong and the Weak", that keeps coming back to my mind in relation to the Strong is 1 Corinthians 4:7, "For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?" (NIV). This Scripture could not possibly ever be repeated too many times, for it is something that we so continually forget.

Another thing that is worth repeating is what I said earlier about the story relating to Shay. I believe that the above linked story about Shay is not just about how we treat those who are handicapped in some obvious way, but also about how we treat anyone who is weaker than ourselves, such as some of those who are poor. Are we willing to help them or do we just judge them automatically as lazy before we've even taken the time to hear their story?

In closing, I'd like to thank Cenk again for commenting and bringing me back to one of my earlier Posts.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Shay's Day - Inspirational Story

Here is something someone sent me through email that I thought was sort of a neat story.



What would you do? You make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is; "Would you have made the same choice?"

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question;

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection, yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things is my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story;

"Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

"I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father, I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps, so I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play.

"The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

"Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

"In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

"In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

"Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

"The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over.

"The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

"By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball; the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

"Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay!' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

"Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

"Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!"

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Lessons for the Strong and the Weak

Life is Full of Contrasts and each one of us is unique. We each have our own journey to travel, tasks to perform, lessons to learn, crosses to bear, mountains to climb and obstacles to overcome. Below are a few scripture verses that relate to the Strong and to the Weak.


For the Strong

"1) Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2) For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged, and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." Matthew 7:1-2, KJV.

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" James 4:6, NIV.

"For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?" 1 Corinthians 4:7, NIV.

”34 Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Take your inheritance; the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35) For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36) I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' 37) Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38) When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39) When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 40 The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' 41) Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42) For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink. 43) I was a stranger and you did not invite me in. I needed clothes and you did not clothe me. I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' 44) They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' 45) He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' 46) Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." Matthew 25:34-46, NIV

"Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." 1 Corinthians 10:12, KJV.

Summary: Be humble and do not judge. Give to the poor.


For the Weak

"14) Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15) To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16) The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17) So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18) But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money. 19) After a long time, the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20) The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.' 21) His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' 22) The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents. See, I have gained two more.' 23) His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' 24) Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25) So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' 26) His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27) Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. 28) Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29) For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30) And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'" Matthew 25:14-30, NIV.

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk, and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31, KJV.

"And let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."
Galatians 6:9, KJV.

"For verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible unto you." Matthew 17:20, KJV.

Summary: Share whatever talents you have no matter how small or insignificant they may appear. Do not ever lose heart and don't ever, ever give up.



Here is a message for Republicans and Democrats...

When it comes to Democrats and Republicans it is so hard to find the middle ground. Sometimes Democrats stress love, forgiveness and grace so much that they exclude responsibility, yet sometimes Republicans stress responsibility so much that they forget to love.

I've often heard it said that "If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, he will eat for a life time.”

The problem with Government is that so often things are done in accordance with one extreme or the other. The big Government Assistance Programs that are pushed by the Democrats too often only give men fish. The programs offered by the Republicans, however, sometimes do not go far enough, because sometimes there are just as many emotional obstacles to success as there are lack of skills. Republicans too often only teach skills and than expect people to go out there and either sink or fly. And sometimes they will even go so far as to beat up the injured and fearful by accusing them of stupidity, lack of discipline and laziness. I happen to believe in Counseling and Encouragement and it is also important to remember that while they learn how to fish, they do need to eat.


Life is Full of Contrasts; Contrasts between two extremes budding heads with each other. Can’t we all just realize that the truth lies in the middle?