It's frustrating and perhaps even a little too bad that I so often feel like beginning a New Post with some comment about my frustrations relating to the Blogasphere and/or the Internet. Everything moves so fast. I just feel like I can't even begin to keep up most of the time. One unfortunate reality relating to it all is that when a very quick response is possible, quite often it is expected. I not only feel this way about Blogs, but about Email as well. When we used to communicate by Snail Mail, to wait a week or more before responding to a letter was more the norm and in a lot of ways that is so much easier than feeling rushed to say something immediately in response to everything that one receives. Everything seems so time sensitive and it can actually create stress if we let it.
If this is true of Email, then how much more so of the Blogosphere? Gosh! If you wait too many days to respond to something you read on a Blog, it will be buried behind a good number of "More Current" Posts and most of those who were originally reading the comments will have moved on. If you want to actually be heard by several others besides the blog author, then you had better be fast.
Add to this the fact that those who post to their own blog at least once a day get more hits and the pressure continues. How in the world is anyone supposed to "Remember to Enjoy the Journey" under these circumstances.
I finally decided to view it this way...
It's just like Fast Food Information and yet we must remember that people go to Fine Restaurants all the time and even pay more for the food. Why?; you ask. Well, it's because Good Food is Worth Waiting For.
Just think about it a minute. Can we really digest the deepest and most meaningful of insights about life, or even about politics, when we are always in the Fast Lane? Can anyone really write a well thought out Post with a message that deeply touches and effects people's hearts and minds in a hurry? Can anyone actually receive such a touch and allow what they've read to really penetrate and touch them, or even take the time to think about and adequately digest what they've read, when they are reading in a hurry? What are we really doing anyway? Are we just cramming as much information as possible into our brains so that we can feel smart, avoid boredom, increase our popularity on the web or whatever? If very little of it is having much affect other than just stirring up more anger and emotion relating to what we already believe, then what's the point? Remember, if those who hold the opposite point of view are doing exactly the same thing, then there is not much real and genuine communication going on.
If I could get no other message out, other than this one, my blogging might be worth it, yet unfortunately, I can talk until I'm blue in the face and yet no one out there seems very interested in slowing down and taking the time to really think.
As I blog along at my own slow little pace, I continue to hope that there will always be a few people out there who are more interested in well thought out information, whether than Fast Food, cause that's what I am trying hard to serve. Hopefully, there will always be a few who have the opinion that "Good Food is Worth Waiting For."
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29 comments:
"..there is not much real and genuine communication going on."
Hard to argue with that. I plead guilty to being sort of a junkie
in the blogosphere, addicted as it were. And being retired, have a lot of time. But I can't go slow, which I blame on a career of wearing many hats simultaneously with responsibilities from personnel to research grants to
patent writing to customer tours to spectrophotometer repair to staff meeting to EPA inspections..before first coffee break. Even after five years of retirement it is difficult to get out of the mode. So, I model trains, civil war gaming, extensive reading, a bit of science consulting...and yes, dashing through websites. I think as I write, which may be why some of us fail at "genuine communication", make typos and
poke at the edge of ideas rather than in-depth analysis. I seems many, if not most, sites are political and opinion in nature, and we find ourselves either "in the choir" or diametrically opposed. From what I've seen, many of us sort of bounce between these, and as you intimate, offer little in the way of profundity.
Dunno about other bloggers, but I
hate to hurt feelings, even where I find opinion to be illogical, so
tread lightly in a lot of cases.
(or, as Griper noted previous, we hold our opinions based on our beliefs which in our mind are sacrosant)So my political views remain a lot of times held in personal check. But there are a few folks who comment who seem to put a lot of thought and prior investigation into it, in particular more among web owners than us drive-by hobby commenters.
Just a couple more observations in my train-of-thought screed: your
blog is slow, but steady; and comfortable, which is why some of us feel free to blather on...and lastly, you nailed me every which way...I'm a fast food junkie too!:)
Heh, just lost a 10 paragraph comment; you are right..some of us rush to fast!
You know BB,
If you can't go slow, than maybe you should reread occasionally the things that the most stick out in your mind. Not only that, but it is good to just stop and reflect once in awhile.
At least one of the functions of spending private time with God, as Christians are instructed to do, is for the sake of Reflection and "taking the time to think. To involve someone outside of oneself is also beneficial.
We all have little programs running through our mind all the time that we filter all information through. If we don't ever slow down enough to Reflect on what we've learned. These prerecorded thought patterns are never challenged and everything we learn remains tainted and biased.
Those who do not have tough skin are not going to last very long emotionally in the blogosphere. I figure most of them do have the necessary tough skin, so I just jump right in, assuming that those who are easily offended need to find an atmosphere that is less opinion oriented. I'm always polite.
Thanks for the complement about being "Slow, but Steady and Comfortable". I like that! Thanks. :)
I hope that the above is the comment you lost and that it wasn't lost. I'm always disappointed when you say stuff like that, because I really do want to hear all that you have to say.
Oh good..that was my comment that I thought was lost. Meditation no doubt works, but it is funny how we process information: my wife and one daughter focus and discard: they can answer all the test questions. Two days later, they have forgotten. My other daughter and me are a litte scattered to succeed so well in short-term memorization...but we retain forever. (?) Odd to say, both girls are now PhD scientists, yet opposites in their approach and ability to deal with info.
Now, I am not the most gregarious person around, but frankly, meditating like a cloistered monk would move me quickly into the
'unhappy' column..:)
You know something interesting? My mother was actually sort of annoyed with me when I wasn't catching on in a speed reading class. As odd as it may seem, I was getting answers right on a test relating to what I had just "read", if you can call it that, and yet my conscious recall of the story line was absolute zero.
I didn't feel comfortable with that. I don't just want to fill my subconscious with information. I want to understand what I am reading on a conscious level and not only that, but my mind is constantly questioning and analyzing every single sentence.
I can't seem to read a single thing without writing a million notes in the margins.
You're not going to brain wash me. My mind questions and fights the info. too much for that and that's just the way that I like it.
Reading and learning are not necessarily the same thing; or so my wife (BS Psych) always tells me.
She cites studies that some learn better by listening, by experiencing or by discussing. Hence, showing movies/slides in a classroom, or dissecting frogs or the common classroom discussion groups. Could be you fall into one of those categories? Then again, the subject matter itself lends
sometimes better to one or another learning medium. I confess having dug deeply in book learning...but to this day, I only look in the instruction book...after I have screwed up the assembly. You are right..doesn't pay to go too fast!
I think that I learn more by listening and discussing. I can learn by reading as well, but only if I am allowed to dissect every single word. This is a much slower process than simply reading.
The Blogosphere is best suited for speed readers and news junkies, yet occasionally a few of us misfits stick our heads in as well.
what do you know, neither one of you will get an argument out of me. haha.
i guess it all can be summed up by saying "take time to smell the roses."
True in that there are those that do not take the time to think and just post knee-jerk responses without substance.
However, there are those that can and do make timely and logical responses. They do this because they know where they stand on the subject and/or issues. They well know the workings of their mind as well as the intracacies of their guiding philosophy. For that reason, they "have their finger on the pulse" if you will.
If it's a Sunday stroll sort vibe you're after, I've got news for ya kiddo, the blogosphere and the internet isn't quite the place for it.
Actually Soap,
You can have a leisurely stroll anywhere if you know how to block out the stimuli. The trick it to know what's important and over look all that is not. There is really no reason to ever be in a hurry. Everyone needs to take some time to relax and think. It's unhealthy to never do so.
Thinking or leisurely stroll..or both? It seems odd, but the experts inform us that though the brain takes up only 2% of body mass, it consumes 20% of our caloric intake. Whether it is 'thinking' or not! Apparently, just maintaining our noggins is
an energy-expensive proposition.
Not sure where, but someplace in the dialogue about happiness, the issue of 'control' came up..if we
seem out of control, or controlled by others, we become unhappy..which
relates to some extent as to why
poorer folk might be unhappy; bottom of the food chain-end of the pecking order thing. Yet, it would not seem to bear on why conservatives are happier than liberals, since conservatives dislike government 'control'.
Or why, in the linked poll, young men are unhappier than young women, while old men are happier than old women? Compared to happiness vs wealth, some of these other factors seem murky.
I have to admit it's so much work maintaining one's own blog that I don't have the time I'd like to read the others since I rely so much on the public library. I have to admit Danny's blogs are superb but I speedread through them to get their gist first. Re fast food I do it only in moderation, Mickie D's twice a week maybe.
I have to add though I'm a lot like BB was in his past jobs. At work I'd like to devote more time to improving recipes but when my manager is there it's all fast fast get it done, don't put this in and that in but when she ain't there I put more of my heart and soul into it. Can't really argue with your main point although we're all guilty.
Soapbox,
I guess I should start by responding again to you. You say that people "can and do make timely and logical responses." and that this is because they "know where they stand on the subject and/or issues".
After I read this and responded to it above, I kept thinking of how you've explained in the past how you base your conclusions on Equations. The problem is that a certain "Equation" that works well for you, may or may not work as well for the rest of the population.
If you continue to "make timely and logical responses.", based on what you already know, or at least think you know, and never bother to question your original "Equations", you will remain blinded by a lot of your Subjective, Unquestioned Conclusions and continue in a way of thinking that is much more narrow than you realize or will be willing to admit to.
Getting past our own biases, which all of us have, and achieving the type of Objectivity, which I know you believe in, requires more than just "timely and logical responses.". Objectivity requires a lot of effort and thought and the act of Constantly Questioning our own Conclusions and Equations.
As to the "Leisurely Stroll" idea, the "Leisure" verse Chaos dilemma is something that takes place more inside the minds and hearts of individuals. Environment affects it only if we let it.
BB,
"Energy-Expensive" does not necessarily have to relate to stress. There is nothing wrong with expending "Energy" if it is done in a positive and productive way, leading to better health, rather than empty stress.
You are absolutely right about control and happiness. This is why there have been times in which I have felt rather unhappy in regards to our puppy, mainly because it has been such a struggle to maintain "Control" over him, rather than allowing him to Control us.
The poor are at least to some extend Controlled by their Poverty because so many of their decisions are Controlled by the "Can we Afford it?" factor. Lack of money limits people's choices and thus has a significant effect on their Freedom.
Conservatives may be happier than Liberals because they sometimes tend to have more Money and/or are more Religious. I like to think, though, that it is because they are Right. lol :)
The poor are sometimes unhappy because their lack of Finances takes away some of their sense of Freedom and Control. They already don't have it. In fact, some of them may even think that under some form of Socialism, they may have more Control than they currently have.
Rich Conservatives, however, are happier because their wealth provides them with lots of Options, Freedom and Control. They hate the idea of "Control", not because they suffer from it quite to the extent that they think they do, but because they fear losing the "Control" that they currently have.
Personally, I think that the Old verses Young men and women phenomena can be explained by the fact that within the Younger Generation, Women have more "Control" then they ever used to and within the Older Generation, many of the Men still have the "Control" because that is how they were raised. So you see, even that issue can be explained in relation to "Control".
I once actually heard of a study in which four segments of the population were surveyed to see who was happiest and the happiest group was married men, the next happiest group was single women, the next happiest was married women and the most unhappiest of them all was single men. lol.
This survey really sounds like a joke, yet I'm guessing that if there is any merit to it at all, it probably included a lot of people in an Area and from an Age Group in which Male Dominance is the norm within marriage and/or woman are mistreated and not respected. If you think about it, you will realize that there may be some truth here.
Z-Man,
Hi. I don't like McDonalds. I don't think you get as much for your money as you do at other fast food restaurants. I prefer Carl's Jr, Burger King, Windy's or In-and-Out.
There have been times in which I've gotten caught up in my own blog as well, to the point at which I don't have much time to read other blogs. My problem is that when I do read other blogs, there is far too much to say in response to them than I could ever find the time to say.
A thought that I've had, though, is that if everyone is mostly focused on their own blog and has limited time to read other blogs, than no one would get visits from other bloggers and we would all just be talking to ourselves.
Which is why I'm taking the time here. I agree with you about McDonald's, I'm beginning to sour on them. Their Big Mac ain't so big and lately I've been going to the other two (BK & Wendy's). Was just at McD's now and most of the people coming in I would say are young, poor and urban. You get the sense they don't eat healthy. Maybe a blog about McDonald's?
I agree with your conclusion regarding women's 'role' and unhappiness as they grow older.
IMO, some religions relegate women to minor 'cheerleading' roles, so
I checked into women in the Mormon
Church, which some view as particularly 'theologically demeaned'. Utah, for example is 70% Mormon..and leads the nation in Prozac prescriptions. huh
A male LDS professor explains and documents his study of the effect of their beliefs on mormon women.
Those who study the history of religion, find in general, that originally women were elevated in more primitive times, then gradually replaced by men, in for example, early Hebrew religion and its postcursers. (the Eve sin thing for example). However, be that as it may, the role of women in society, as I suspect Griper would note, mirrors that of the mammalian female..proscribed by family duties/responsibilities, while the male is the hunter/breadwinner/leader..the species-specific passive/agressive
'role' of nature. Even that reads far too much into it, as many women are happy and many men are unhappy based on any number of factors, some of which are addressed in the original link.
I suspect women handle this in their own way...such as the signs and stickers we see "If Mama ain't happy..nobody ain't happy." Dunno, what you think?
Lista, you have expressed very well my own frustration. I'm very busy and for awhile I was feeling guilty because I couldn't keep up with my blog. I used to post every day but have quit doing that. Yes, it gets more comments that way but it isn't worth the stress. Then, when people visit me, I feel that I should return the favor as soon as I can, and there's no way I can do that and help prepare our gardens and a ton of other chores I have. So I have slowed down a lot, although I did post yesterday and today I posted a video, but it will probably be three or four days before I post again. The pressures are great and it isn't worth it. I miss snail mail!
Incidently, I notice from Site Meter that I have readers who don't comment, and I'm sure you do too.
I must be experiencing some major Blogging Burn Out. I've been complaining about not being able to Post that often and yet lately it has been so much worse than that. Apparently the last time that I even looked at my blog was on March 11; 5 days ago. I want to apologize to those who wrote comments on the 11th. I hope you are not too impatient with me.
Even now, I have limited time and am going to put off responding to the comments for now. I'm sorry.
I guess I'll just say something quick to Gayle. Speaking of the stress of blogging, sometimes when my life gets busy, I find watching T.V. to be more relaxing than blogging. Perhaps when my life slows down a little, my blogging will pick up again.
I'm involved in an Easter Play that is taking up a lot of my time.
Ok. Maybe I do have one very quick minute, so maybe I'll just take one comment at a time.
Z-Man,
Windy's is a little on the greasy side, but I like them anyway. When I'm in a more healthy mood, they have very good salads.
BB,
Too thought provoking. I'm going to have to skip your comment for now.
Gayle,
I don't even try to keep up with other bloggers or even return the favor of their visits. Most of the bloggers out there are either speed readers or have more time on the computer than I do and all I can do is hope that people will be willing to visit me because they like me and not because they are expecting me to keep up with their very fast moving blogs.
BB,
Crazy me. I keep coming back to the computer to give quick responses between my morning chores.
What I've found frustrating in my own life is the reality of misfits. For example, supposably women are supposed to be better multi-taskers and are more adaptive to their environment, thus the ability to raise children and adapt to the needs of the husband and family without feeling unhappy, and men are supposed to be more goal oriented and focused, thus the ability to lead and make the decisions in the home.
I, however, am very goal oriented, am not good at muti-tasking and do not adapt well to change. If God intended us to have certain gender roles, than why did He create some that fit this mold better than others?
Good points. It appears we vary inately in our 'gender roles'. Think of women generals/CEOs...or stay at home dads..and they are likely happy. From your own descriptions, a couple of observations come to mind..time
management (sometimes inate, sometimes learned) and our own metabolic 'energy level'. I am rather low energy, and left to my proclivities would be content to watch the world rush by. When I was in research and management, I excelled because I was a thinker and could prioritize..and writing was ridiculously easy. Funny thing, all my kids are excellent writers..anyhoo, the important thing is that we 'know ourselves'..that old proverbial
'let me change what I can, and accept that which I cannot change' approach. Regarding tasks..some of us never seem to get around to them, others are so peripetic and energetic they overwork and screw up the task, or lose interest halfway through. So, not to run on, basically we are what we are and that should be acceptable to us and those around us. Right?
You are right, BB, that Time Management and even Multi-Tasking can be learned. I think that this can be taught to children by giving them a number of responsibilities and chores to do and making them responsible to figure out how to schedule their time in order to get it all done and still end up with some free time.
I was always a slow reader and thus required a lot of study time. I actually used to use the excuse "I can't cause I have homework to do." in order to get out of doing chores. Never mind the fact that I put off doing the homework until I was asked to do some house hold chore. It's actually a little surprising that my mother fell for this. I could have done better than that. I really could have. I was just never forced to schedule and figure it out.
Mom was a really efficient, busy body type, who just got impatient waiting for me and ended up doing things for me, rather than continuing to fight with me and challenging me to do better. I guess I was a little bit of a strong willed brat, sort of like our puppy. I hope I wasn't quite that bad, but wonder if there were times in which I was.
From one generation to the next, we have a tendency to do this little flip flop thing. One generation is over worked due to hard times. They are very responsible and efficient as adults, but feel as if they missed out on their childhood.
The next generation is babied and given too much freedom and not enough responsibility, in order to make up for what the previous generation feels they had lacked, thus, a greater prevalence of laziness and a de-emphasis on the work ethic and so the pendulum continues to swing back and forth between the extremes.
And yes, BB, sometimes the Work-a-holic is just as screwed up as those of us who lack energy and tend to cope with depression and stress by sitting around and doing nothing, while "the world rushes by".
Again, we have the extremes. One might say, "You sit around too much. Get off your butt and do something." and the other might say, "You work too much. You need to sit down and relax once in awhile." and both of these statements are correct because the answer is once again in the middle.
Perhaps if I was pushed a little more to Schedule and Multi-Task, I may have even found a way to study and read a little faster. Diamonds are produced by great pressure, not "Oh just leave them alone and they will figure out a way to raise themselves."; something my Father said once.
To continue the Pendulum analogy, babied generations seem to put extra stress on their kids to work hard, thus, producing a Work Ethic again, yet often in Excess and to the opposite Extreme.
We all need to focus on that which we find to be "Ridiculously Easy". Too often, those around us create excessive guilt in the areas that do not come easy for us and we waist so much time trying to please them by working on that which is hard for us and not that which we are gifted in.
As bazar as it sounds, I discovered that my own tendency towards Depression has everything to do with this. When I was too busy trying to meet everyone else's Expectations and Demands, I was Depressed and when I listened to the Inner Voice inside of me, I got better.
In Christianity/Religion, the Legalism, excessive focus on "Law", rather than Grace, or shall I say the "Expectations" of our loved ones, or even the Church, rather than on a loving Relationship with our Creator can actually create Depression, rather than Joy and Life.
Just as the Scripture says "Who also hath made us able ministers of the New Testament; not of the letter, but of the Spirit: for the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life. (2 Corinthians 3:6, KJV)
Basically what this means to me is that "Religion" can kill, but a Relationship with God can bring us Joy and Life, just as the Bible also says "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. (John 10:10, KJV)
Christianity is supposed to be about Relationship, not Religion.
Anyway, to continue my thought in relation to Depression, when ever I was too focused on the Expectations of the others around me, and at times this included the Church, this had a tendency to make me feel Depressed, but when I focused on my own Inner Voice; the voice of God speaking directly to me while spending quiet time with Him; this is what has brought and continues to bring me out of Depression and back to feelings of Joy and Peace. Praise God!!
I was reminded when reading "When we used to communicate by Snail Mail, to wait a week or more before responding to a letter was more the norm..." that some of use still do snail mail..and use the computer! My wife and I send out
sort of a family 'newsletter' every week (current recipients about 15) to maiden aunts, shut-ins, a remaining parent etc. I typically do up a couple photos and a humorous one page story and she tailors another page for each recipient. They seem to like it a lot, and we frequently hear from my 95 year old aunt and uncle, by snail, of course! One addressee is so crippled by arthritis they can't write, but call every couple months. Sort of fun and keeps a far flung (geographically and age wise) family a bit together...
When I think about the Internet, Blogging and Reading other Blogs, I have been realizing lately that I have another problem besides my reading speed. I so dislike the way our country has been going lately that I find reading a whole bunch of Blogs sort of depressing.
I don't know how most of these bloggers do it and right now I'm not just talking about reading speed, but the subject matter. How can people spend so much time continually, day after day, reading and writing about politics? I can't handle it. It makes me feel both angry and depressed.
I'm not sure how many blogs are strictly political..a lot I visit are. Some, like Z-man conservative and Lobojo liberal, probe other
topics which are more interesting and generate educational discussion. And there are a few political blogs that are so out on the fringe, one ponders the owner's mental health. :) These are the ones that devolve to a dichotomous readership of 'preaching to the choir' and
ad hominum polemics...both, to my mind, close-minded. Some of the religious/political blogs are a bit bizarre, IMO, but it is fascinating to learn that ornery opinionated folks are for the most part quite human: otherwise agreeable people. If anything, it seems that a large percentage of sites and commenters have a problem with subjectivity vs objectivity....another quite human trait. :) Just my biased subjective opinion, of course...
It's just that it's hard for me to venture out of my own blog and not find myself caught up in some political discussion and I wonder at times if I should have bothered venturing out on certain days and allowed my peaceful frame of mind to encounter more and more challenge.
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