Sunday, February 20, 2011

"It's JUST Money!!" / "The Value of Money"

As is not Uncommon with me, I was Responding to Someone's Comment on another Blog and the Comment was Long Enough and Interesting Enough, that I decided to Make it into a Post on my Own Blog.  This Time my Post is Written in Response to the Comment "Money isn't Everything.", which is not Unlike another Common Saying, as is Mentioned in the Title of this Post, "It's Just Money!!"

This Statement is not Untrue in that Money (that is Excess) isn't Everything, yet the Lack of Money (That is the Bear Essentials that One Needs) is Enormously Stressful and can Even Cause Marital Strife.

You See, I was Raised with Money and it Never Mattered to me that much.  In Fact, I Actually Disliked the Envy because of the Walls it Produces between People.

I can Actually Recall a Time in which someone Walked in to Our House and said "Wow!  It must be Nice!" and I Actually Felt like Slugging the Guy.  I was Feeling sort of Distanced from my Father at the Time and was Wishing for so many Things that have nothing to do with Money.

Later in Life, I Learned Something Entirely Different, though.  My Husband Bought a Bran New Camero, Bright Red, and I thought it was too Showy and Actually didn't Like the Attention that I Got, yet Later Understood that this was the First Bran New Car that he had Ever Owned and it was something that he had Wanted all his Life.

The Poor and the Rich do not at all Think the Same.  Mostly it is the Rich who will say "It's just Money".  The Poor Man will not say this.  Instead he Desires to Teach his Children "The Value of Money", that is that we have to Work Hard for it and so we should Appreciate it and do not Take it for Granted.

Only the Rich man will say "Oh, No Biggie.  They are just Things."  The Poor Man, though, desires to Teach his Children "the Value of Things".  Once again, that we have to Work Hard for what we have and therefore, should Take Care of what we Possess, Not Take it for Granted and not Treat it too Lightly.

To Illustrate this Point, my Father Once had a Lincoln Town Car that, Believe it or not, he Actually would Put his Contractor Supplies in the Trunk of.  People Used to Tease him for it and say that they Really Liked his New "Work Truck".  They just couldn't Understand how he could Abuse something so Valuable.

The Poor Man, though, Values what he has and Takes Care of it, so it will Last.  It's a Whole Different Perspective and it is not Right for the Rich Man to Belittle it.

Anyway, these are a Few of the Reason's Why, though Republican, I will not go so Far as to be a Libertarian.  I Understand Both Sides and Feel that the Poor and the Rich Need to Make Compromises with Each Other.

This Post was Inspired by Silverfiddle, Beneath his Post, How to Save a Life.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Issues of Frustration & Trust

You Know, Someone just Recently Sent me a Comment that I did not Post.  Mostly it was because it Seemed more Like a Personal Message to me, then Like Something that Needed to be Posted.  The Truth is, though, his Message has Stimulated some Thought.

There were a Number of Themes in it that I'd Like to Respond to and the First one is Frustration.  It's just Like I said to Beth, Beneath an Earlier Post, "As a Person who Struggles with Depression on Occasion, it is Interesting how Often People will Tell me to Stop Doing a Particular Thing that I am Doing at the Time in which I am Talking to them, as if Giving Up that One Item is going to be the Solution to a Life Long Problem."

It just so Happens that Frustration is a Part of Life.  Life isn't Perfect and because of this, we are Never Going to be Experiencing Exactly Everything in the Exact Way that we would Like to be Experiencing it and Unfortunately, this Reality Brings with it at Least Some Level of Frustration.  This is why it Puzzles me that People will Tell me to Run Away the Minute I Admit to some Frustration, as if they Think that the Existence of such Frustration is Something that can Actually be Avoided.

Another Thing Worth Noting is that just because I Admit Frustration does not Mean that I am being in some way "Dominated" by the Frustration.  I believe that is the Word my Blogger Friend Used.  To Me, the Challenge is to NOT "Submit" to the Various Levels of Frustration that will Inevitably always be in my Life.

Some People may Find it Odd when they Hear me Say that I Prefer Stress to Boredom and yet to me, Boredom is What Results whenever we Succeed at Removing all Stress from our Lives.

The Next Theme that I'd Like to Respond to is Trust.  My Friend was Absolutely Right when he said that we Need to Trust Ourselves First.  This Really is True, for we Need to First Trust Our Own Judgment about who is Trust Worthy and Who is not.  We Also Need to Trust Our Own Level of Self-Discipline in not Giving in to Things when we shouldn't.  If we are Afraid that Someone is Going to Steer Us Down the Wrong Path, then at Least Part of that is Trusting Ourselves that we are not Going to Allow that to Happen, for we are not Going to Follow if we do not Like the Direction that the Person is Going in.

Trust Does Indeed Begin with us, yet Part of that Involves Deciding who not to Trust and that is where the Responsibility of the One who Desires to be Trusted Comes in, for Trust is Earned and should Never just be Expected.  If Someone Refuses to Even Try to Work to Earn Trust and Respect, then they Deserve the Lack of Such that they are Given.

I'd like to Thank my Friend for Inspiring this Post.  I Know that there are Others who would Like to Take Credit for Saying Similar Things as this to me, yet the Credit Goes to the One who Said these Things to me more Recently, because his Delivery of the Information was both Humble and Respectable.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Penguin Goes Shopping

Here's Something Cute that was Recently Sent to me through Email.  Aren't you Proud of Me?  I Figured Out how to Post the Video Direct, rather than Posting a Link to it.  Ok.  I'm a Little Slow, but Check this Out!  It's Really Cute!!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The Sun, The Wind, Dominants & Submissives

Ok.  Maybe I Will be Submitting this One.  I didn't Know Yesterday, when I Posted, that I would be Posting two Days in a Row and yet somehow it Seems like the Appropriate Time to Submit this.

Here are just a Few Thoughts that I've been Recently Thinking about.  The First is about the Story of the Competition Between the Sun and the Wind.

The Sun and the Wind were Talking about a Man Walking Below them who had his Coat on and they Both Claimed that they could Influence the Man to Take his Coat Off.  The Wind Went First and Tried to Use Force.  He Blew and Blew and Blew in the Attempt to Blow the Coat Off of the Guy, but the Harder the Wind Blew, the More the Man Clung to the Coat, so the Wind was Unsuccessful in Forcing the Man to Do as the Wind was Insisting on.

Next, the Sun Took a Turn.  Instead of Force, the Sun Simply Used Warmth.  The Sun Came Out and Shown Brightly, Warming Up the Air Until, Guess What?  The Man Removed his Coat of his Own Free Will, without being Forced in any Way to Do so.

So what is the Moral of the Story.  Well, the Warmth of Love is more Effective than any Form of Forceful Persuasion.

I've Know this for a Very Long Time and yet Applying it is so Very Hard to do.  Sometimes the Way in which People Resist us and at Times Behave in Ways that we Consider Inconsiderate just Cause us to Feel Angry to the Point in which Our Love Dries Up, yet Applying Our Own Source of Forceful Wind does not Alleviate the Problem.

As Difficult as it is, the Lord Says that we are to "Turn the Other Cheek" (v. 39), "Go the Extra Mile" (v. 41), "Give to him who Asks of us" (v. 2) and "Pray for our Enemies" (v. 44).  (Matthew 5:39-44)

Here is where I have Struggled in Relation to this...

I've Discovered that there are People Out there who have Divided the World into Dominants and Submissives and who Appear to Believe that the Above Verses are for those who are Submissive by Nature.  I Hated this because the Above Verses are not just for "Submissives", but for Everyone.  The Other Reason that I Hated this is because if a "Submissive" does Apply the Above, God does not Get the Glory, for if Submissiveness is in some People's Nature, then those who are Submissive get the Credit for Acting in Accordance with their Own Nature and it is not God who Gets the Glory.

The Other Problem with Dividing the World into Dominants and Submissives is that Submissives then, get Taken for Granted.  They are Viewed as People who are just Acting in Accordance to their Nature and the Full Extent of the Sacrifice that is being Made is not Recognized.  This Results in Lack of Appreciation and a Disregard for their Needs.

What such a Dominant doesn't Realize is that these Verses were Written for Everyone, not just for Submissives and that the Principle that the Sun Persuades Better than the Wind is Still True, even for those who are Dominant.  Submissives are Human Beings and Human Beings do not Always Behave as they Should.  Even if there is Submissiveness in that Person's Nature, the Dominant is Still Required to be Warm, rather than Cold and Forceful.

What I have Said is Actually Quite Conservative in Nature, for I Know that Some would go even Further with the Idea in Favor of these "So Called 'Submissives'" by saying that there is no such thing and we are all Equal.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Excessive People Pleasing. Still Overwhelmed.

You Know, I've been Feeling Overwhelmed now for Quite Awhile and it is not Letting Up.  It's Frustrating how Blogging can be at Times.  I Watch my Hit Counter and when I See the Number of Hits Drop a Little, I Feel Compelled to Post again and it is not as if I do not have a Post Ready that I could Submit, yet here's the Problem...

I Know that if I was to Post the  Post I'm Referring to, it would Open Up a whole other Can a Worms and since I'm Feeling Overwhelmed by Worms already on a Number of Other Blogs, it would not be Wise for me to Submit my Next Post at this Time.  You see, here's the Thing...

I have a Tendency to be Overly Submissive and to at Least one of my Other Bloggers, even that is a Can of Worms, yet I'm going to Try and Explain this anyway.  There is an Unhealthy Form of Submissiveness and this is what Causes my Stress.

Let me Start by Saying that I Expect too much of myself.  Even the Expectation that I should Post when my Hit Count Drops can be at Times an Unreasonable thing to Expect because I can become Overwhelmed by the Commenters if there is more Activity than I can Handle.

The Reason why I Started with the Idea of Excessive Submissiveness, though, is Because a lot of what I Expect from myself comes from what I Think Others Expect from me.  This Includes Expectations such as Don't Speak Unless you can Prove Everything that you say.  This is a rather High Expectation for me because I am Slow at Web Research and even Arguments that do not Require Web Research Take Time to Think Through and Present to those I'm Dialoguing with.  Sometimes I just Plain Fall Short of this Goal and when I am Judged because of it, this Causes Stress.

Another Expectation is that when I am Challenged, I Need to Offer a Defense in a Timely Manner.  Again, if I do not Meet this Expectation, I Risk being Judged and being Judged or Misunderstood causes me Stress.

The Most Serious Excessive Submission Problem, though, is Caused by the Fact that I Feel Compelled to Respond Positively to most every Request that Sounds Reasonable to me at First.  A Good Example of this is the Request that I Visit a Certain Person's Blog and Offer my Input.  This wouldn't be so Bad if this was the End of the Request, yet Unfortunately the Expectations Continued and Turned to Don't say anything that you can not Give Full Support to within a Certain Time Frame.

Apparently, I can't Handle High Expectation Blogs because I am just too Limited in my Ability and Speed at Doing Web Research.  This Particular Blog that I am Referring to has been Highly Stressful for me and I Never Should have Honored the Initial Request that I Visit the Blog and Give my Input.  It was my Excessive Submissive Tendencies that Led to this Stress.

Some have Called this Sickness "People Pleasing" and what it Basically Consists of is the Inability to Say No.  I Keep Working on this Problem, so that I can Experience more Peace and Less Stress in my Life, yet I Continue to Struggle with this Weakness and Experience Stress because of it.

I want to Apologize if I have Allowed my Recent Stress to Cause me to be Rude to at Least one of my Commenters.  Even if such an Apology is not Required, I'm Doing it anyway because I have a Personal Need to.  Don't you see, even Honoring a Suggestion that I shouldn't Apologize would be a Form of People Pleasing and I Need to Stop doing that cause it is the Cause of my Stress.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Black and White Thinking; The Definition is Gray.

Once in Awhile, I am Inspired by my New Friend Man of Wonder and he has been Inspiring me in Relation to that Black and White Idea, mostly because that is Stated as the Main Theme in his Blog.  I'm Finding that the Concept of Black and White can be Understood in Quite a Number of Ways.  Some of them are Negative and Some are Positive.  I Realized this, as I was Writing Responses to Man of Wonder on his Blog, and then Later, as I thought of a Response to him on my Own Blog, that I've Decided not to Post Until Now.  Here is what I was Thinking of Writing to him below the Next Post Down,  Why do People Believe What they do?....

"There is just Something about Sloppy Thinking, Boy Wonder, that just Seems to Stir Anger within us, in the Flesh.  1)So Many People Out There just do not Know what is Black and White and What is Not.  2)Some Call what is Gray, Black or White and 3)some Call what is Black, White and what is White, Black."

Now to Show you What I Mean by the Different Meanings of the Black and White Concept, in the Context of the First Sentence Above, in which Black and White is Mentioned, it Means that which is Simple and Obvious, as well as Absolute and in the Context of the Second Sentence after that, the First Usage or the Words Black and White is about what is Confused and/or Relative being Called Obvious and/or Absolute and the Second Usage of them Refers to what is Right (White) and Wrong (Black).

Now Read that Paragraph again and see what you get out of it.

Now, for those of you who are Caught up in the Gray (that is Confusion), Some Things are Indeed Black and White (Clear and Obvious, as well as Absolute, or the Same for Everyone), but not Everything is Black and White.  Some Things are not Clear Cut and Obvious and also not Absolute, for Some Things are Gray (Relative) to a Person and/or Situation.

As to the Definition of Black and White as Nothing More than Simple, rather than Complex, Yes, we can "Over Complicate" with Irrelevant Details, yet we can also "Over Simplify", by Assuming that Everything Works According to Our Own Perception on Things or Our Own Point of View, while not Realizing that not Everyone is the Same and that the Way we are Viewing Things May be Beneficial to Oneself, but not to the Other Person (Relative, Rather than Absolute).  Perhaps it would be better not to be quite so Dogmatic in out Thinking.

You See, Black and White can Mean a Lot of Things and some of them are Negative and some of them are Not.  For Example, when Black and White Means Basic and Simple, this is not Necessarily a Negative, but when Black and White Means According to MY Point of View, or "My Way or the High Way", this is a Negative.

Also, When I Say that some of Life is Gray, at Least Part of What this Means is that Sometimes Things are not As they Seem.  Or Put another Way, Things are Foggy and Confused, Not as Easy to Understand as they Seem, or there is "more there than at first Meets the Eye" and this could also Mean that some things are Relative, rather than Absolute.

Now, as a Review of a Few of the Links that I had Referred to in an Earlier Post,  these Links; (Thoughts on Standing Beside a Bomb in a Crowded SquareBlack and White Thinking doesn't Work in a Gray World); Place the Idea of Black and White Thinking in a Very Negative Light.  The First of these Links Actually Places Black and White Thinking Right Along Side of Extremism and the Second just Explains why Black and White Thinking, as Described in the Article, does not Work in the Real World.  Both of these Links Came from a Post at Dave Millers Blog, The War on Extremism.  I Agree with what is Said in these Linked Articles.  The Problem, though, is this...

If Sometimes Black and White Thinking is Understood According to the Given Linked Articles, than Later when someone Uses the Same Terminology to Describe what is Simple, rather than complex, then the One Who Means Only Simple, and not Complex, will not be Judged Fairly for what he or she Says if the Readers are thinking instead about some of the more Negative Definitions of the Terms, Black and White.

There Obviously is a Negative Form of Black and White Thinking, yet this Concept has been Used in so Many Different Ways that Perhaps we Need to be Clear in Our Definitions before Throwing such Words Around.