Friday, February 18, 2011

Issues of Frustration & Trust

You Know, Someone just Recently Sent me a Comment that I did not Post.  Mostly it was because it Seemed more Like a Personal Message to me, then Like Something that Needed to be Posted.  The Truth is, though, his Message has Stimulated some Thought.

There were a Number of Themes in it that I'd Like to Respond to and the First one is Frustration.  It's just Like I said to Beth, Beneath an Earlier Post, "As a Person who Struggles with Depression on Occasion, it is Interesting how Often People will Tell me to Stop Doing a Particular Thing that I am Doing at the Time in which I am Talking to them, as if Giving Up that One Item is going to be the Solution to a Life Long Problem."

It just so Happens that Frustration is a Part of Life.  Life isn't Perfect and because of this, we are Never Going to be Experiencing Exactly Everything in the Exact Way that we would Like to be Experiencing it and Unfortunately, this Reality Brings with it at Least Some Level of Frustration.  This is why it Puzzles me that People will Tell me to Run Away the Minute I Admit to some Frustration, as if they Think that the Existence of such Frustration is Something that can Actually be Avoided.

Another Thing Worth Noting is that just because I Admit Frustration does not Mean that I am being in some way "Dominated" by the Frustration.  I believe that is the Word my Blogger Friend Used.  To Me, the Challenge is to NOT "Submit" to the Various Levels of Frustration that will Inevitably always be in my Life.

Some People may Find it Odd when they Hear me Say that I Prefer Stress to Boredom and yet to me, Boredom is What Results whenever we Succeed at Removing all Stress from our Lives.

The Next Theme that I'd Like to Respond to is Trust.  My Friend was Absolutely Right when he said that we Need to Trust Ourselves First.  This Really is True, for we Need to First Trust Our Own Judgment about who is Trust Worthy and Who is not.  We Also Need to Trust Our Own Level of Self-Discipline in not Giving in to Things when we shouldn't.  If we are Afraid that Someone is Going to Steer Us Down the Wrong Path, then at Least Part of that is Trusting Ourselves that we are not Going to Allow that to Happen, for we are not Going to Follow if we do not Like the Direction that the Person is Going in.

Trust Does Indeed Begin with us, yet Part of that Involves Deciding who not to Trust and that is where the Responsibility of the One who Desires to be Trusted Comes in, for Trust is Earned and should Never just be Expected.  If Someone Refuses to Even Try to Work to Earn Trust and Respect, then they Deserve the Lack of Such that they are Given.

I'd like to Thank my Friend for Inspiring this Post.  I Know that there are Others who would Like to Take Credit for Saying Similar Things as this to me, yet the Credit Goes to the One who Said these Things to me more Recently, because his Delivery of the Information was both Humble and Respectable.


Pamela D. Hart said...

Lista: I used to thrive on stress, but, after years of therapy and self-discovery, found that I can no longer tolerate it. Life being what it is though, stress will and does creep in, therefore, I must deal with it head on; however, I don’t “dramatize” it anymore. I deal with the “problem” and move on. I don’t find my life “boring” though. It’s calm, and being a person who once NEEDED control to the point of squeezing it so tightly that it slipped through my fingers, which caused me quite a bit of drama and anxiety, I’m actually enjoying the serenity. I contribute that to realizing what’s really IN my control and what’s NOT.

No one has the right to tell you, or anyone else, HOW to respond. We all have our stressors and running away certainly doesn’t fix them. Sometimes I may ignore a problem for a day or two, just to clear my head, but I know that I must come back to it, because no problem ever disappears. We also have our own frustration levels. Everyone’s fuse, so to speak, is a different length and what ignites said fuse is different for everyone. And what puts out that fuse is also different. We just need to find out what works for us. Writing is my outlet. I’ll sometimes just type and type, then erase the entire document. Or maybe I’ll save it and re-read it at a later date. It helps me to “gather” my thoughts/emotions.

I agree 100% that trust is earned and not guaranteed. I rank it with respect. I consider trust and respect GIFTS. For me they are given to those special few who truly deserve them.

BB-Idaho said...

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"
Shakespeare, Hamlet:Act 1

The Griper said...

position in life in relation to our own has a lot of influence on trust also.

Lista said...

Hi Pamela,
I Usually do Like your Comments. I'm Finding that you and I Think a Lot a Like. I've had a Tendency towards Depression Over the Years and I've Gotten Used to People Telling me how to Fix it and it is Usually some Really Easy Fix, such as Stop Doing This or That and Sometimes that Something was some Sort of Obsession, yet I Found that the Minute I Dropped one Obsession, I would just Pick Up Another.

I also Discovered that when Ever I Ran Away from Something, such as a Relationship, I would Soon Find myself in another that was Similar to the One I Ran Away from and this is when I Realized that it was Better just to Work my Way through it in the Hope that in doing so, I could Discontinue the Pattern.

Amen on your Last Paragraph.

Thanks BB,
For an Insightful Word from Shakespeare.

I'm not Sure what you Mean. Do you Mean Financial Status, or just Similarities in Struggles. The Thing is, though, I Often Deliberately Interact with People Different than myself because I Feel like it is a Good Learning Experience, but I guess a Little Caution is in Order as I do that.

Silverfiddle said...

I think you've got a good attitude about it all, Lista.

We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react.

Have you ever read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning?"

Lista said...

I Don't Read Nearly as much as I should, but Thanks for the Recommendation.

In Spite the Fact that we can Only Control how we React and not what it is that Happens to us. I do have a Pet Peeve. I Very Much Dislike it when someone Tries to Tell me that my Emotions are my Own Responsibility while all the while Mistreating me and Aggravating me while saying it. Such a Person should be... Ahhhhh! Well, I'll Stop Now and Allow God to Decide the Judgment.

I also Find that Emotions can not always be Controlled as well as we would Like. Sometimes we just have to Feel it, such as when a Loved One Dies. It is Only Natural to Feel Sadness and even Pain and a Person can not Take Responsibility for Emotions that can not be Avoided.